Sex drive, or libido, refers to a person’s desire to engage in any sexual activity. Having a low libido means that you have a decreased desire to engage in sexual activities. While having a high libido means you have an increased desire for sex. When you search “What’s the normal amount of times to have sex?” it will populate info that doesn’t necessarily answer your specific questions about your libido. That's why we’re unpacking sex drive today. Additionally, sexual education has primarily focused on issues like diseases and pregnancy. Very little was taught about the nature of our sex drive. In other words, there’s been a lack of Pleasure Education. Which is why some of us aren’t in tune with our bodily desires or aware of what affects our sex drive. Therefore, our goal at V Vitamins is to enlighten you more about this scarcely explained topic while empowering you with the knowledge you need to create safe and pleasurable sexual connections with yourself and others. Please keep reading for the 5 things you need to know about your sex drive.
There’s no “normal” amount of sex to want or have
Have you ever talked with someone about their sex life and started comparing your sex life to it? You’re not alone. A lot of people compare themselves and then conclude that they don’t have a “normal” sex drive. How much sex you have or desire to engage sexually boils down to one thing - Your Preferences. In reality, there is no normal. There is just the right amount for you. A State of Sex Survey found that 2% of couples have sex daily, 3% of couples never have sex, and the rest are somewhere in-between. A myriad of factors contribute to the amount of sex you’re having. And most importantly, the right amount of sex is whatever the right amount is for YOU. Even within our intimate connection, we might have differing sex drives than our partners. Which is why having open conversations about this topic is helpful in addressing and unlocking better sexual experiences.
Sex drive is dynamic & changes throughout your life
Numerous health, hormonal, and psychological factors affect how we feel about and experience sex. Furthermore, how we feel about sex can change frequently. As there may be days where you feel uncontrollably horny. That is just as normal as the days where you don’t feel like having sex or even being touched. Allow your body to do what it does naturally and let pleasure organically build up for you. Embrace how your sex drive changes in every phase of your life. And know that how you feel is completely ok and valid.
Sex is satisfying at all ages
Women experience an increase in sex drive later than men. One study revealed that women between 27 and 45 years old report the highest interest in sex and more sexual fantasies than women in other age groups. Women also report having more sex during these years than women of other ages. Knowing this is helpful especially in connections where partners have differing sex drives. Communicating openly about what you like and what your limits are will better help you experience fulfilling intimate experiences. Moreover, sexual desire changes as we age. Yet, sexual satisfaction often increases, despite those changes. Therefore, no matter what age bracket you fall into, sex should be satisfying and healing for you no matter the frequency in which you have it.
Regardless of your sex drive you deserve intimacy and orgasms
Not wanting to engage sexually doesn’t mean you don’t deserve affection, (non-sexual) intimacy and tenderness. And regardless of how often you want to play, when you do decide to engage you deserve to have eye rolling orgasms. Say it with me “I deserve eye rolling orgasms.” You deserve to have your partner prioritize your feelings and pleasure. You might not be in the mood for that limb bending acrobatic type of sex. Yet, you may crave an attentive touch or a sensual experience that helps you feel connected to your partner. Open communication with your partner(s) might help them understand what you want and help them take a different route while pleasing you during your high & low libido phases.
External forces affect your sex drive
It’s completely normal for our libido to fluctuate and for there to be points of time — days, weeks, months and/or years — where our sex drive is higher than usual. Similarly, there will be certain times when our libido is low due to external forces affecting our lives. Such as, low body confidence (which is a big one), high stress and hormonal changes, just to name a few. On the other hand, if you’re feeling sexually insatiable then there are a few culprits for the ravenous hunger. You could be ovulating, you could also be in an amazing space mentally, emotionally, and/or physically and thus are more open to exploring. Your hormones fluctuating can also boost or break your sex drive depending on the person. For instance, some women are their horniest during menstruation. And some are the least horny during menstruation.
All in all, your sex drive is like a seesaw - it goes up and down. It’s influenced by plenty of internal and external factors in your life. And we invite you to reflect on your sex drive and how it’s been throughout the years. We want you to feel empowered and to be aware of your libido because the better you understand why your sexual desires pivot, the more equipped you’ll be to have healthy conversations and interactions with your partner(s) and yourself. Moreover, if you want an all natural way to restore your sęx drive, we recommend using your V Vitamins 2-3 times/week. And self-pleasure at least once/week. Doing both of these things consistently will fire up your sex drive and improve your intimate connection with your lover ❤️🔥
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